Today I have been so frustrated with my little tornado. I have been trying to get the house clean and it seems she is determined to make me fail. Every time I turn around, I find that she has destroyed another room. I had folded all of the laundry on the table and had taken a pile of Mackenzie's clothes into her room to hang them up in her closet. I turned around to go back to to the kitchen to get some more and when I looked down, I saw a pair of little blue eyes peeking up from over the top of the mountain of clothes that Avery held in her little arms. I took the clothes from her and she had the biggest smile on her face. She was so proud of herself for helping and it was the cutest thing ever! My heart melted. It's the little moments like this that make all of the drama of parenting worth it!! Ever since, she has been my little helper. She helped me carry all of the clothes to be put away, she helped me unload the dishwasher, she helped me clean up Gavin's room, and she "washed" her tea party dishes with baby wipes. I love being a mommy! These are the moments that I want to remember!

In Rememberance

Wow! it seems like I just did the post for the 3rd anniversary of Tina's death and here we are, at the 4th. Four years. Sometimetimes it feels like it was an eternity ago and sometimes it feels as though it was just yesterday that we said goodbye. I remember that day vividly and I always will. In so many ways, that was the worst day of my life but in other ways, it was also the beginning of a new life for me. Tina taught me so much that day. She taught me that life is so short. It is too short to waste time being angry or judgemental. Enjoy the people you have in your life, and let go of the petty differences. Love your families, love your kids-even when they are driving you crazy. Even when they are coloring on the walls, even when they are fighting and screaming, and especially when they are having a bad day. I am learning that the times when you feel like you could strangle your kids, are the times that you need to pick them up, give them a hug, and tell them that you love them more than anything. That goes a lot further than yelling and screaming back at them. Tina taught me that the important things in life are not how big your house is, how nice your car is, how clean your house is, or how perfect your hair is. What matters the most are the relationships we have- making sure that our loved ones know how we feel about them, raising our children right- because we only get to do it once, and being happy. No matter what our circumstances in life are, we can choose to be happy and to be grateful for all of the blessings that we have. Tina helped me to look at the big picture. She kept saying Please remember that this life is so short compared to eternity. She said that so many times and it really stuck with me and made me really think about my priorities. When I grow up, I want to be like Tina. She was the peacemaker. As much as I sometimes wished she would stand up for herself, I really admire her for that. She was so patient. She loved everyone and and never lost her temper. She accepted everyone as they were- no judgements. I know she is in a good place and that she is doing some amazing things. I think about her daily and me and the kids talk about her all of the time. I have been dreading this day because I had made up my mind that I would listen to the recording of her funeral. In 4 years, I have never once listened to it. I haven't been able too and I told myself that I needed to. The day came, and I still can't, but I realized that it's okay. I can listen to it over and over again and I can look at a million pictures, but that wont change anything. It won't bring me any closer to her and it won't bring her back. I carry her in my heart -we all do and no matter how many years pass, that will never change. She is a part of me because she helped me to be the person that I am today. I will always miss her. I miss our phone conversations, I miss calling her up and saying, "hey, lets take the kids to the park, lets take the kids swimming, or lets go shopping." She was always happy to go. Even if she didn't have any money to go shopping, she would still want to go. I miss just hanging out at each other's houses. Playing with the kids, and talking for hours. those are memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Tina I miss you and I love you and thank you for being you!!

2 years old!!

We celebrated Avery's birthday a day late becuse Dallas wasn't here on her actual birthday- not that she knows any different anyway! I tried making a train cake- It didn't turn out perfect, but we thought it was pretty cute anyway! We just had some friends over, ordered pizza, had some cake and ice cream, and opened presents. Avery getting ready to blow out her candle. she did it all by herself! cake anyone??Gavin, Kenzie, Becki, and OakleeAvery and KenzieThis was her favorite present. it's a little motorized scooter. she had so much fun riding around on it. It has a flashing light in the back and plays a song that is really loud and annoying- and it has no volume or off switch and she just loves to push that button over and over again!! so fun!! It is fun to watch her though- she sits on the scooter and dances to the music. Taking Kenzie for a rideShe got this little kitty from Jared and Becki. She opened it and said "ooh horse"!! Grandma Anderson sent her these little tigger and Eyore stuffed animals. Thanks Grandma!Gavin and Kenzie both gave her coloring books and colored pencilsShe also a bunch of other stuff that I didn't get pictures of: 2 new pairs of shoes, a jacket, 4 new outfits, and a webkin- she is a stuffed animal lover like Kenzie. She also loves shoes. One of the pair of shoes she got are pink sparkly high-tops and she LOVES them!! They are a size too big but she had me put them on her and she will not take them off!! I just finished getting her ready for bed and she is driving around her scooter wearing her sparkly shoes with her pj's!! I may have to wait till she's asleep to take them off!

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!!

My little Avery is turning 2 today!! It amazes me at how fast the time flys!! Avery is a blast!! It has been so fun to watch her grow. She is very naughty! She doesn't share, she's very impatient, and she has the biggest sweet tooth I've ever seen! I love everything about her! Even when she's at her worst- throwing a tantrum- kicking and screaming, I still can't help but laugh because everything she does is just so dang cute! She definately has the "youngest child" syndrome.. She is pretty spoiled. She knows how to get what she wants. Even Mackenzie and Gavin can't resist her pouty little face. Avery loves playing outside. She loves to jump, play on the slide, and go for walks and bike rides. Most of all, she loves to swing! She also loves to draw... on EVERYTHING!! the walls, the door, the table, in library books, on her arms and legs, anywhere but on paper! Mackenzie and Gvin leave pencils, crayons, and pens, lying around and
Avery finds them every time!! Thank goodness for Mr. clean magic erasers! Avery talks more and more every day and I just love how she forms her words. adyse= outside, gwink=drink, banket=blanket, dooday=birthday, yunch=lunch, pay=play, noni=joni, piwow= pillow, dowa= door, mowa= more, wing=swing, dump=jump. Most of her words she says correctly, these are just a few of those that she doesn't. Avery has been so cute today- I woke her up singing happy birthday and she just giggled. I keep singing it to her and she just smiles and laughs every time. Dallas is gone hunting today so we arent going to celebrate till tomorrow- but I will make some cupcakes today that we will share with the neighbor kids. then tomorrow, I will make her big cake. I am going to try to make a train cake- wish me luck! Hopefully it will turn out okay! Anyhow, I am just so glad that Avery joined our little family. I feel like she completes us- our family wouldn't be whole without her. I don'k know what I would do without any of them. I have the best three kids in the world!! We love you miss Avery!! Have a wonderful 2nd Birthday!!!